A regular night for Control Freak
by ChibiMilly
Summary: What does Control Freak do when he's not fighting the Titans? The answers are all too predictable. Humor, oneshot


Guarana, No-Doz pills, Ginseng, Soda, Energy drinks, and candy littered the desk, next to various computer gadgets and peripherals. On the floor, as well as on a few immaculately organized shelves were comics, toys, CDs, DVDs, and photos.

In the center of the main desk was a computer, a hellishly impressive one. If it wasn't filled up with chatroom windows, the background would be one of Starfire of the Teen Titans, meticulously worked over in photoshop to flow just right with all the icons arranged to the left.

"So what about that bank robbery? It was just Raven and Beast Boy on the scene to handle it…" Popped into the chatroom, typed by one 'NekoWaiWaiBishie93'.

"Oh, please, they didn't say anything, so it was just a coincidence." Replied 'Sephigokusasuke137'

Control Freak was very much in his natural habitat.

For the moment, he was just watching, reading what others had to say. The caffeine from the Mountain Dew hadn't kicked in yet, and he needed that to work up a proper fanboy storm. In bitcomet, he was downloading recent news reports of the Teen Titans, looking for anything he could get. Not to study their weaknesses. Just for reference material.

"Well, what about Aqualad/Beast Boy? It's _so_ there." 'UnusualProgress' punched in.

Red alert. Control Freak's fandom warnings were working overtime, trying to keep his brain from melting. Aqualad/Beast Boy? No, this was a foreign beast to him, this…_slash_. The question was, was it best to retaliate and dive in, or to flee and truly be free of this mind shattering substance?

He sweat (Which was nothing out of the ordinary). His fingers rested on the keyboard, staring intently at the screen, but trying to keep his eyes from catching sight of the ensuing conversation. Did the other chatters agree, or were they fighting this notion?

Control Freak was suddenly interrupted by a booming voice.

"BENJI!" Thundered a female voice, down the stairs and into Control Freak's lair/his mom's basement.

Benji – or, as he preferred, Control Freak – didn't reply. That was the path of fools.

"BENJI! Have you gone to bed yet!" His mom yelled down the stairway. Control Freak's hands remained still, and his mouth shut. To respond or to type audibly would be a death sentence.

There was a long pause that hung in the air, practically strangling the life out of Control Freak due to the sheer tension of it.

"Right. Good night!" His mom said pleasantly, and left. Once he was sure his mother was far enough away, he breathed in relief. This didn't last long. He peered at the chatroom.

They were still discussing Aqualad/Beast Boy.

Terrified, chilled to his bone of the prospect of real, live homosexuality, Control Freak minimized the mirc windows, working frantically to erase the images from his mind. He made up his mind he'd only peek back in for about another 30 minutes, and if they weren't discussing normal pairings – or pairings he considered 'hot', such as Starfire/Raven – then he'd scoot away again until things returned to normality. The hypocrisy of being disgusted by Aqualad/Beast Boy but relishing in Raven/Starfire completely flew over his head. To describe accurately how unaware he was of the hypocrisy, it was figuratively blowing holes through the wall behind him at light speed while he was too absorbed with, say, the latest episode of Naruto to notice anything going on.

Control Freak shoveled more Reese's Pieces into the hole in his face that chewed food. Firefox was maximized onto the screen, and going through the favorites, he clicked onto his profile at man…I still haven't gotten any reviews for my AU universe of the Titans in Medieval times…still, at least the Hive Five turned good and Titans turned evil fic is getting good reviews." Benji said, who fumbled around on his desk for his can of Dr. Pepper. After finding and chugging it, he clicked into the Cartoon category, followed up by clicking on Teen Titans. Then, scrolling down characters, he clicked on Control Freak.

No new fics.

"Jeez! I did that Titans East challenge! EVERYBODY SAW IT! EVERYBODY! And no one writes ANYTHING about it! CRIPES!" He yelled, then forcing his voice low. He dare not risk awakening his mom and pulling her wrath into the basement.

He was tempted to update his livejournal. With an friends only locked post, naturally.

But first, he looked to the right, at a yellow sticky note affixed to his computer. On it, it listed:

'To do:

Stock back up on food and supplies.

Comission Starfire drawings from a few artists – you know which drawings.

Devise new DEVIOUS plan to defeat the Titans!

Enact DEVIOUS plan to defeat the Titans!

Update fanfics.'

Benji looked over his shoulder. The boxes of soda and chips assured him that he was well stocked. He checked that off.

The second one he checked off as well. He had already paid for the drawings with his paypal account earlier that day.

The devious plans bit... well…

It was a little late at night, Benji rationalized. And the titans are probably busy with someone else anyway, he continued to think. And anyway, I'm not completely done with the plan; Do it tomorrow, he concluded.

With that, he clicked once again to his profile, and discovering he still had to update his Bumblebee/Aqualad fic where they get stuck in…a time warp. Sure. Anything to make the rest of the plot continue.

He raised an eyebrow. It had been a little since he last checked the chatroom, and his patience didn't always extend to 30 minutes. With some hesitation, he clicked to maximize the window.

They were now discussing Speedy/Robin.

In utter panic, he clicked the x button on the window, and then quickly proceeded to erase the chatlog of that day from his hard drive. Who knows where those thoughts would go if he allowed them to fester in his brain? He could not be tempted – he must remain on the road of the pure, he told himself. While he was dead wrong about 'being pure' as well as what he considered 'impure', he didn't allow time to think about that either. He jammed Skittles into his throat and distracted himself with the taste of the rainbow.

With the additional reassuring taste of a can of Mountain Dew, he slowed his breath back down to normality. Opening up Microsoft word, he began to type.

"No time like the present to get back to the past." Bumblebee said – or so Benji dictated to the screen with the taps of his fingers onto the keyboard.

"Oh," He told himself with a grin, "That's a good one."


End file.
